Bacon Bits � Remodeling Heartburn
September 1, 2008
Saturday it started. So begins the transition from the dog days of summer to the ease of the fall. Thanks to an early start in Baton Rouge, the college football machine was in action for 14 hours straight if you timed the games just right.
And so I turned on the LSU game and headed to the couch. Armed with a diet coke in my left hand and a wondrous DVR remote in the other I readied myself for battle. My body and mind primed for the day, I slipped into the football coma that far too often is misdiagnosed as laziness by spouses around the world. Little do they understand.
Somewhat like the stages of sleep, there are levels of depth one has as they slip into viewing. And much like a hibernating bear, it is best to not wake a viewer as he heads deeply into football REM. It�s amazing what one can ignore. Fighting kids, ringing telephones, door knocks and hurricanes seem like distant inconveniences. The more experienced viewers have developed the ability to actually incorporate these potential preoccupations into the football game itself.
But every now and then a distraction proves too tough. It can rudely interrupt your focus and force you to pay attention to [gasp] the real world. And so was the case when my wife comes to me and mentions her newfound desire to remodel the kitchen. Something like the sound of a needle scratching across a record jolted my whole persona back to reality. Thanks dear.
So I go from thoughts of scrambling quarterbacks to scrambled life. Why did she have to do this to me? Why now? Did she think she'd catch me in a weak moment of inattentiveness just to hand her the checkbook in order to make the problem go away?
I�ve never been through a kitchen remodel. I�ve had plenty of friends who have, and most all of them relay the experience as not unlike getting a prolonged root canal and colonoscopy at the same time. Why me?
Who in their right mind would want to take something that works, albeit below perfection, and want to tear it all out in hopes that the replacement pieces would all come together to reach the acme of kitchen performance? Why tear down to build up? And what about the weeks building into months of disorganization and destruction that would become of my house?
It would be the fourth quarter before I came back to my senses and re-engaged with the football. Until the Arkansas � Western Illinois game, that is.
What happened Saturday night was unexpected. Even the worst naysayers never predicted we could lose to the Leathernecks. This is Arkansas, for crying out loud. And the Leathernecks play on an even field with teams like UCA. Wow, are we that bad? Is Western Illinois that good? A little of both perhaps?
A fanbase steeped in a great running attack over the last 8 years suddenly came face to face with the reality that the 2008 Bobby Petrino version is, well, inept in the running game to say the least. At least through game one. And a string of good to great run defenses may have ended with the 2007 model.
It�s so easy right now, after game one, to want to place blame. This was unexpected and disheartening. Suddenly the �rumors� that our defense might be okay seem far off-target from the truth. Our passing game and an improved quarterback play were small consolations when the defense continually gave up long, sustained drives until late in the game.
So it hit me. What about this team is different from a kitchen remodel? Very little actually. Old cabinets are gone, new ones are in, albeit on the floor waiting to be mounted. The floor is scraped to the concrete, the furniture is standing in a corner. Everything looks awful and in disarray, when in fact the architect has a plan. Bobby Petrino has a plan, first and foremost to find out exactly what is worth keeping.
A sage old advisor once told me nothing is as good as it seems when things go well, and nothing is as bad as it seems when things go poorly. Well, things went very poorly Saturday night. Let�s hope the problems have been quickly identified and some major changes will right our wrongs.
After listening to Coach Petrino�s take on the game, one has to feel confident that he has a good idea where he needs to go from here. It doesn�t mean we�ll be a good team in 2008, but if his take is any indication we will definitely get better.
One thing is sure. We need to replace that bad smell from Saturday night with the lovely aroma of wins from our new kitchen. We will, Razorback fans��.we will.
